Worrying is my biggest weakness. I can be so insecure about everything. Not to mention, it’s very consuming.
I can’t even think of how many sleepless nights I’ve had, my brain going into overload and meltdown when I’m thinking of the ‘what ifs’. I’ve worried about school and university; I’ve worried about tests, interviews and deadlines; I’ve worried about confrontations with family and friends. Any potential or actual problem I’ve had, you can bet I’ve worried about it.
The majority of the time, my worrying would come to nothing. Worrying is time-consuming and detrimental to our emotional well-being. It’s unhealthy to be getting so anxious over potential problems but even more so over things that you can do nothing about. Energy is better off being channelled somewhere else.
One way I developed to help myself deal with my worrying was talking about it. This is a good thing to do but instead of sharing my worry and then working through it, I would talk about it and talk about it, and talk about it, burdening the other person. I would talk about it until we were both bored out of our minds from hearing about it. I would never do anything about these worries, just let them fester in my mind until the event (test, deadline, meeting, etc.) passed or things got resolved. This is not a healthy way to live.
Eventually, after a couple of phone calls to my mum during university when I told her I hadn’t slept properly for a good few days, she gave me some really good advice for working through my worries. I’m a practical person and I benefit from having methods in place to help me keep my mind free from worry and stress.
I’m going to share the method that I use to help stop me worrying:
1. WRITE DOWN YOUR WORRIES
Every single one of them. Write a list. It doesn’t matter how silly they sound, if you’re worrying about them, then you need to put them on paper.
2. NEXT TO EACH WORRY, WRITE AN ACTION (OR ACTIONS) TO SOLVE IT
Some worries, you may be able to do nothing about. But if you can’t change it, change the way you feel about it. You might not be able to change the impending confrontation you might have with a friend, but you can prepare yourself, think of what to say and become more in control of the situation. Likewise, you might not be able to change the deadline of an essay, but you can collect all your research together and create a plan to help you feel more organised.If you can't change it, change the way you feel about it Click To Tweet
3. DO THE ACTION(S)
I realise this sounds very obvious, but you wouldn’t believe how many times I haven’t followed through. I’ve done steps one and two and felt much better, and then haven’t done step three. In the grand scheme of things, it gets me nowhere and it’s not very proactive. Not intentional. Plus, it just adds to my worrying! So do the action you set yourself. Your mind will be more at rest and you will be more than halfway to solving a problem.
1. WRITE DOWN THE WORRY
Recently, I have been worrying about running out of my savings while I’m job hunting. The more time I spend out of work, the further my money has to stretch.
2. NEXT TO EACH WORRY, WRITE AN ACTION TO SOLVE IT
I’m looking at where I spend most of my money. My weaknesses are food; things for my pets; and make up. I then decided to implement a spending ban on make up and small animal products for two months unless I run out of something and absolutely need to repurchase.
3. DO THE ACTION(S)
During the months of February and March, I have implemented my spending ban and I’m striving to use up the products that I would be buying more of. Instead of buying more eyeshadows, I’m using up the ones I already have and I’ve realised how many beautiful colours were untouched. How silly it was that I would buy more without looking at what I already have. And when it comes to my animals, I have a huge stash of wood chews, houses, and bedding. I’m also thinking of new alternatives. Using shredded paper is a free way to keep my little furries warm and cardboard that we would normally recycle proves to be a great toy for the gerbils!
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So there you have it, my advice on how to stop worrying. This method has made a massive difference in the way that I approach things now and I have found it so useful to be able to take a step back and evaluate how I’m going to move forward. This is the kind of intentional lifestyle I strive to get better at.
Did you find this method useful? What ways do you keep yourself from worrying in your everyday life? Tell me, I’d love to hear your ideas!