I’m back to my blogging challenge today with a letter to my past self. I actually wrote this letter a year ago, but since the past doesn’t change, I’ve edited it to bring it back to my blog. This letter writes back a past self from almost seven years ago which is very overwhelming, but it’s so interesting to see how I’ve changed.
I never really understood how much I had changed as a person until I sat down and really reflected on how I am different now to how I was back then. I’ve always had the sure knowledge that significant past events have happened to me, but I have never really realised how these past events have changed and shaped me.
So today I’m sharing some insight as to what I was like when I was fourteen years old.
Dear Emma (aged fourteen),
I know that you want a side fringe now, and I know that everyone has one, but trust me, you will be so glad you didn’t. And remember your full fringe? That really didn’t suit you.
And I know you love the taste of the blue WKD but you’ll soon learn that drinking those isn’t very cool. When you get to university you’ll learn about all sorts of strange combinations passed off as cocktails of sorts. You’ll soon move onto bigger and better things before then though, convincing yourself and everyone else that you can drink vodka straight from the bottle but three years later you’ll realise that you can’t. you will want to contact me to reevaluate your thinking,
You also need to stop worrying that you will never get a boyfriend because, trust me, someone amazing is coming along. You already know him actually. He has loved you for five years now and he likes you just the way you are. The boyfriend you just had: your paths are very different, so just forget about each other.
You will tell me where to go here, but you’re going to become a Christian too… It has something to do with the person that you end up in a relationship with, although you don’t know he’s a Christian yet and doesn’t until a few weeks into your relationship. And by the way, you are surrounded by Christians and you don’t even know it. I can see you turning your nose up now, but it eventually brings you overwhelming satisfaction.
The car accident in 2007 that you and your family were involved in will also come back to haunt you, but don’t worry, there is a happy ending. I promise.
You’re not very self-aware at the moment. Please stop using Facebook and Twitter to express your anger, it does hurt people and it’s also very childish. Unfortunately, you will learn that the hard way. But it turns out alright when you get some kind of a revelation and start becoming a nicer person. The Facebook account you have now is not the Facebook account you will have. What prompts you to delete it is the sheer amount of cringing that you experience when you read back some of your old posts. A personal favourite of mine was: ‘I’m in love’ and when questioned about who you’re in love with, you reply: ‘It might not be a person, it might be a thing’.
Also, you think that you only get on with boys, but that’s all changed now and you have a healthy mix of both. You will learn that not all girls are bitchy and selfish like you are now.
Your passion for writing becomes reignited though you still haven’t finished a novel. You create a new character who is based on someone you know – you’ll laugh about that one. And you discover a love for blogging.
And by the way, you’ll be delighted that you will end up dropping two dress sizes after vigorous amounts of Jazzercise and now you’ve actually joined the university gym believe it or not. This is the third year that you’ve joined about you go weekly. I know you don’t believe it. You will be still quite lazy, but not as lazy as you are now. And just so you know, you might as well not begin horse riding, because just like everything else that doesn’t last.
Keep going, loads of crap happens but that’s just life and you come out of it a better person, with your self-worth found in God’s love and grace. I promise.
Lots of love,
Let’s chat: If you could go back and tell your past self one thing, what would it be?