Rather With, Than Without // Fearless Friday

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It’s a little late but I am so glad that #FearlessFriday is back! If you’re not sure what it is, head here first. This week’s submission is from my dear friend, Lorna. I lived with Lorna for two years at university and know that giving a testimony was always a big deal for her. I’m so glad that she decided to share her story today and I hope that you find encouragement from it!

RATHER WITH, THAN WITHOUT

Because of the fact I was born and raised in a Christian home, I have always thought of my testimony as ‘boring’ and ‘ordinary’ but this is simply not true!

In giving a testimony, you are sharing how you came to know God through the Holy Spirit changing your heart. And the beauty of it is that God uses something different in each person to bring them to the joy of having a relationship with Him. At a very young age, I prayed ‘the prayer’ by asking God to come into my life. It somewhat comforted me as a child to know that I was never alone and that a caring God was in charge of my life. However, in a culture that is largely against the idea of a supernatural God, I naturally had many doubts about God’s existence whilst growing up, but the concept of a caring God definitely still brought me comfort.

During secondary school, although I still had a belief in God, He was not personal to me and definitely was not a priority in my own life. I was more interested in making friends and fitting in. At the age of 15, I started to experience anxiety and panic attacks. At one time I was having panic attacks most days and avoided going to certain places for fear that they would occur at any given and unexpected moment. I started to live every day with fear controlling me.

After turning elsewhere, I finally started to turn to God through prayer and in reading the Bible. It’s so easy to doubt how impactful and relevant God’s word still is, but reading about how much God cares and how much I am worth in His eyes brought me so much peace and things got a lot better.

In moving away from home for university, I wanted assurance that my faith was my own and not my parents’, or anyone else’s. I had a strong belief in God and had learned that He hears and answers prayers and was always leading me onto the right path. This very soon became drowned out when I discovered I hadn’t gotten past my anxiety. Through this, I tried to block God out of my life and as a result I had never felt so empty. Without God, I felt as though I was just existing and going through life because if I was my own ruler of my own life then what mattered? Eventually, I gave into my own stubbornness. I decided to invite God back into my life and live with more purpose and intent.

I am certainly not saying that being a Christian makes my life easier, and the Bible definitely makes no sort of promises for this, but I can say that I would rather endure the world’s trials and difficulties with God than endure these without God. God uses your trials to increase your faith and draw you back to him! (Romans 5:3-5).

 

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Lorna is 22 years old and Nottingham Trent University graduate in Mental Health Psychology. She  is currently working a part-time internship at her church in Nottingham with youth work as her main focus of ministry. Alongside this, she is working part-time in various secondary schools around Nottingham. Lorna is looking forward to serving and discovering God’s will for her life.

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